Hindsight for 2020: It’s real.

This year was more than difficult. While in it, any good day or bad day felt all-consuming. I too-easily forgot my victories. I too-easily forgot the blessings. So here’s my list of the light that the darkness couldn’t overcome.

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I published, unpublished, and republished Sulwen.

I started a new novel after eight years of working with the same story.

I became a senior in college.

I began the most beautiful relationship with my boyfriend and his two silly, fun, and amazing sons.

I quit a management position that was taking its toll on my mental health.

I embraced therapy.

I learned how to be vulnerable and honest.

I discovered the strength in admitting when I am weak.

I learned to permit myself emotions and time to process them.

I fell in love with new music (hodgepodge of a playlist featured below, with all the year’s top discoveries & comfort songs) >>>

I read 18 books.

I maintained an author website and Instagram profile.

I developed a deep appreciation for candles, fresh flowers, and sunbathing while reading.

I danced in a snow storm.

I composed songs on a ukulele.

I went skinnydipping in a lake at twilight.

I let myself cry.

I found my voice and used it.

I ate an exorbitant amount of Mexican cuisine, fig bars, Chick-fil-A, and Dunkin’ Donuts… and regret none of it.

I decorated my room for Christmas.

I bought my first car.

I cut my own hair.

I realized the power of good hugs.

I filled my room with cozy blankets.

I enjoyed quality cinema. Some favorites >>>

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I learned–am learning–how to rest.

I remained a warrior in the midst of depression, anxiety, and episodes of invasive & suicidal thoughts.

I made time for people. I made new friends and strengthened existing relationships.

I miraculously survived a car crash.

I relearned how to pray and trust God. I lost and found my belief.

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This year was hard. It stripped me bare, crushed me to the core, and left me wondering how I’d make it out alive. By grace and grit and love, I sewed myself together. I let God do the healing work I couldn’t. And I kept going.

You are still here, too. Be proud of this. Happy 2021, my friends.